He has always been handsome. His first grade teacher told me he was too cute to tell him to sit down and behave.

I was trying to decide what to get him this year…so I created the  list of  30 things for his birthday. He will get it, others maybe not.

1. His name…(He hates it)
2. His curly hair…(What is left of it)
3. His smile…(headgear and braces)
4. His ability to roll his eyes into the back of his head…(at the sound of my voice)
5. His sarcasm…(It so runs on my side of the family)
6. His charm…(well he may have gotten that from someone else)
7. His good manners…(He always says please and thank you)
8. His art…(do you have any idea how much charcoal pencils and drawing pads cost)
9. His con…(He could sell anything to anyone, I’ve watched it happen)
10. His Dad…(He said he wanted one)
11. His Sister…(What would he do without her??)
12. His new last name…(The old one was so boring)
13. Flying to Grandma Heaven…(airplane rides by yourself are sooo much more fun)
14. His transformers…(Santa said he was very good that year)
15. Horse riding lessons…(Mom I really want to learn to ride…I will just take my inhaler more often)
16. His love of skating…(okay Pat may have convinced him to play but I said yes!)
17. The scar on his face…(It was a car accident and for a while he told everybody he got it playing hockey)       
18. His pierced ears…(Mom will you please take me to the mall to get my ears pierced?)
19. His driver’s license…(PLEASE if you let me get my license I will drive Megan everywhere so YOU won’t have to)
20. Allowing him to go to Last Fling…(I think he took the title literally, he wouldn’t come home all week-end)
21. Babysitting his sister instead of getting a job…(He just LOVED that)
22. His hollow leg…(he would eat and eat and eat, I almost needed a second job!!!)
23. Family…(he’s got a good one)
24. All his cousins…(they all look up to him)
25. His pleasant personality…(okay it may have skipped a generation)
26. He remembers things in pictures…(I just remember)
27. Cory Logic…(if you just think about it long enough it makes sense!)
28. What do you mean I can’t move out…(It sucks getting out of high school at 17)
29. Always and Never…(do not use those words in a sentence with him, there is no gray just black and white)
30. I will ALWAYS love you…(and you better NEVER forget it)

I hope you like my list of 30. If you want to add to my list go for it.

Happy Birthday Cory!!!!

Things we can agree on, we need a fenced in yard for the dogs, as few stairs as possible and as much hardwood vs carpet as possible. I miss the hardwoods in our old house. I hate carpet. My dog Rory likes to eat carpet…that’s another story.

Our realtor must hate us. We have looked at 10 houses already. I like one Pat likes another so we keep looking until we find one we both like or one of us gives in…. In the world of Pat and Beth that could be a really, really long time. Until then we are seeing 4 more houses today! yea

He’s played hockey since he was a little kid. Our son played hockey from the time he was 7 years old. They would both be on the old guys league by now but, I can guarantee if they were in the same state they would have been together last night. Most of the Blackhawk players are our daughter Megan’s age.  Last year Megan won tickets to a play-off game. She could have taken anyone she wanted, but she picked her Dad. They had the best time, Megan still talks about Patrick Kane’s hat-trick that night.

It was a nail biter last night. But in the end the Blackhawks pulled it off. I was in the other room when Patrick Kane made the goal. I’m sure you could hear Pat scream all the way to Philly. Then it went eerily quiet. I went in the room and there was my husband still sitting on the edge of his chair-staring at the TV. He didn’t say a word. I’m not sure he even noticed me. Then he said, “Man these kids can play.”

It was a great night for the Domrose Family. The only way this could have been better is if we had figured out a way to have Pat at the actual game. I’ve already started saving for next year.

For every happiness there is disappointment. My children are my greatest loves and the reason Pat and I do many of the things we do. We made conscious decisions regarding our family. We married and stayed together because we love each other and wanted a life together.

Everybody makes mistakes it’s part of life. I personally don’t like calling them mistakes it sounds so harsh. I call them educational opportunities. At 52 I am still learning. Today I received bad news that I didn’t expect. Nothing life threatening, just bad news. How I handle this will be a test of my personal character.  

I’ve decided to reach deep down and do what in my opinion is best. I sure hope I’m doing the right thing. Some days it sucks being a grown up.

My sister, brother and I grew up in a fractured environment. Our parents had us very young. We moved a lot. But we had  very stable things in our lives. Our grandparents and our school. We moved between living with our Mom and Dad. When we lived with our Dad after my Mom moved to California we lived in our Gram’s house.

Gram wasn’t always feeling well by then and my Dad worked all the time or was out. Jackie was our grown up. I didn’t realize it at the time but he’s only 9 years older than me. 

Jackie by default had to take care of us. Gram and my Dad relied on him to pick up the slack when we were teen-agers. I don’t know for sure but I would like to think they didn’t do that to him on purpose, it was just the way it was.

So there we all were 4 very different kids each with our own problems. None of us were easy to deal with on a day to day basis. I would like to say that I was a wonderfully perfect person who never did anything wrong but that would be the understatement of the century.

I can’t speak for anyone else but for me if it weren’t for Jackie I wouldn’t have the first clue how to be an adult, let alone a good parent.

There are no words I can use to express to him how important he is to me. I very rarely see him and talk to him even less. We both live busy lives. But everytime I talk to Cory or Megan about something important in their lives or they ask my advice about something, I ask myself what would Jackie want me to say, or even better I remember something  he told me.

The first time I heard someone say it takes a village to raise a child I thought of him. Because that’s how I was raised and he was one heck of a big part of that. Thank you Uncle Jack.

Aunt Mary was my Godmother so I’m going to start with her. Although I know I’m not actually named after her, I would like to think that I’m as good a Godmother and Aunt and that I would make her proud.

When I was little I was in and out of hospitals and doctors offices all the time. Well maybe not all the time, but a lot. From what I have been told my Dad lived with Aunt Mary sometimes when I was little. I remember it was Christmas time. Aunt Mary had a Christmas tree and I remember having patches over my eye. The doctor took the patch off my eye and I went to Aunt Mary’s and I’ve never been sure if this really happened but I could see the lights on the tree. When your little and you can’t see well your brain plays tricks on you. Well I told everybody I could see the tree. I don’t think anybody actually believed me, except Aunt Mary.

Kiddie Cocktails at the Palmer House. Every child should get all dressed up, go with their favorite Aunt to a fancy restaurant and have a kiddie cocktail. Aunt Mary used to take Mo, Annie and I to the Palmer House every once in a while. We would get all dressed up and go downtown. One time she took us to a hotel downtown and then out to dinner. I loved downtown it was my favorite place.  To this day when I go downtown I get the same feeling of wonder and excitement as I did back then.

Aunt Dorothy was a school teacher and when we would go over to her house she would have us take tests all the time. I loved it. I would love when after she graded the test she would tell me how smart I was. She loved ice cream. She let us have ice cream before bed every time we stayed over night at her house. Chocolate and vanilla mixed together loved, loved, loved it.

When I was little she had a birthday party for me. I don’t remember which one, but when your birthday is stuck in the middle of Christmas and New Years you don’t get many parties, and don’t get me started on the Merry Christmas/Happy Birthday gifts. What ever the reason was Aunt Dorothy was kind enough to realize I might have gotten gypped in the birthday party department and gave a birthday bash for me. I was thrilled to death.

Who could forget Christmas at a restaurant?? She made sure each of us had a special day. My cousins and I not too long ago were talking about a picture from one of those Christmas past. Carrie had a picture. I was  around 18 and Marney was one or two tops. We were all talking about piano’s in bathrooms and how lovely we looked in outfits our parents had us wear.  Aunt Dorothy gave us those memories.

Aunt Mary and Aunt Dorothy’s personalities were very different. Aunt Dorothy was more prim and proper and Aunt Mary was more outgoing and gregarious. But they had a number of things in common. They loved all of us unconditionally and they were devout Catholics. I don’t think either one of them missed a mass. They both  lived with their parents as it was expected back in the day and took care of them when they got older.

I miss them both.

Great faith, Great love, Great Aunts.

For those of you that aren’t fluent in sarcasm let me share some facts. I can only speak for myself on this but I have tried for more years than I can count to not be sarcastic and it just comes out.  There are many different kinds of sarcasm, based on mood, who you are speaking with and how much you care what the other person thinks sarcasm can be kind, funny, mean and sometimes obnoxious. 

Let me ask you this, for those of you who read this and have children, my generation, the next doesn’t matter. Remember the first time your lovely adorable 3-year-old told you to get lost not in those words but by using sarcasm? I can’t remember what Cory said but I can remember what I thought…don’t laugh just do not laugh.

I can remember the first time I said to Cory quit being a such a smart mouth.  Cory said “Mom, you always tell me how smart I am, this just proves it.”  He was around 5. When he was a teenager I tried to tell him that being sarcastic was cute when your little, but not so pretty when your 15 and when you get older and move out of my house may be useful.

 Sarcasm can be a gift and a curse. Funny sarcasm is always that funny. But when your kid is crying about some dumb ass who broke his/her heart you shouldn’t be like me.  Learn to keep your mouth shut. The sarcasm comes out and it doesn’t help. No matter how hard you try.

Usually we get to the park way early and have a few liquid refreshments before heading into the game. Today I needed to stop by work on the way and we left a little later than we should have. I need to get a CTA pass. The traffic was a mess. Pat was going crazy because he likes to get in before the first pitch. But we made it through the gates and to our seats before the players were announced. We’ve been going to the home opener for the past 5 years. It’s usually cold but today the weather couldn’t have been better if I sent the request to God himself. (I think my cousin Tom did the request for all of us)

We sat in a different part of the cell today. By the Cleveland dug out a couple of aisles over. I could see everything from there. The Cell looked really great they have a couple of new scoreboards and everything was new and fresh.  The game was great, Paulie had a home run his first at bat. The Cleveland pitcher threw more wild pitches and walked more Sox than I can’t remember when.  Mark Buehrle and Paulie made this incredible play. Pat was yelling and cheering. It was a great opener.

Unfortunately for my team, they were playing in Atlanta, or should I say not playing in Atlanta. Sorry I call ‘em as I see ‘em. 

Pat has two great passions Hockey and Baseball. He doesn’t see them as games they are adventures. He cheers when his team does something good. He screams at them when they do something bad. Either way he loves it. This is his favorite time of year. The Blackhawks are still in it to win it and the Sox have started to play ball.

Pat and I have many memories that involve baseball. I think seeing a baseball game on tv is sort of boring. I like it at the ball park. When our kids were younger we all went to the games together it was a great time. Megan is just like her Dad, a Sox fan. Cory had the sense to stick with me. When he wanted to make his Dad crazy he just put on his Cubs hat….that started the great debate. Which teams were better who should have won it all. This of course happened BEFORE 2005. Now if anyone says anything he just holds up his world series ball and tells everybody to shut up. 

We will see many more games at the park this summer. Pat will be cheering and laughing and having a good time. It’s what summer is all about for him. I love the Cubs/Sox game. He just likes any game because it’s baseball.

But today it struck me that something had changed, something I noticed. Something Gram had said before but I didn’t pay much attention.

My brother Bob and my Gram were sitting talking about baseball.  He was quiet and Gram was looking at him and laughing.  She patted him on the arm and said “Oh Bob” she was grinning from ear to ear. He made her day. He took the time to sit with her and talk with her about something she enjoyed.

In my opinion this was the best gift Gram got today. It didn’t cost a thing and she may not remember because of her age, but for that moment in time Bob was hers.  Her youngest grandson had given her the gift of his time.

Why am I writing about this? What impressed me enough to write about this? Well in his entire life Gram really didn’t know what to do with my brother, he was a boy and she had trouble relating to him.  But as she got older whatever it was melted away. She absolutely adores him. She goes on and on about what a nice guy he is, she’s always telling me about how Bob talks to her about baseball.

My brother gave my Gram a wonderful gift today and I wanted to do something nice for him. Thanks Bob for  being the nice guy we all know you are deep down.

Most people think her life was a waste. But not me. She did something so important and she never lived to see it.

She taught my son FEAR which more than likely changed his entire life.

Mo did things most people wouldn’t dream of doing. There are other members of our family that we could say the same thing about. I used to think that Mo just made bad choices. When Cory was born I started to see things differently. Cory had no fear. He would walk up to anyone and talk to them. When he was just a kid around 2 years old he jumped in the deep end of a pool, he said it called to him. Those who knew him well called it Cory logic. No one else would think of things the way he does. I think Mo had the same thing. 

The difference? She was the youngest of 9 who’s Dad passed away when she was 10 years old and would do whatever anyone told her to do. She was the most compliant person I will ever meet.

She met a guy who used that compliance to get her to do things. Things none of the rest of us would even think of doing.  Drugs and alcohol became her life.

Cory on the other hand got to watch first hand, up close and personal the effects of that compliance. He was with me every day that I went to see her. He listened as I asked her if she realized what was going on, did she want something different from what we were doing. Her reply and she was still lucid and rational – no I know somethings wrong but I don’t want to talk about it. I’ll do whatever you guys want.

Cory asked me later that day if we all grew up together (Mo, Ann and I) how come my sister and I didn’t end up like Mo. I told him the only thing I could think of, and to this day still believe to be true. We had fear. I would no more stick a needle in my arm or have somebody else do it for me, as put a gun to my head. I was not a perfect person, I did things that were considered normal in the middle to late 70′s, there was no “Just say NO” campaign yet. But I did have that little voice inside my head that said every once in awhile – What the hell are you doing…STOP.

Cory said he didn’t have that voice, he had a voice that said, you should try this it could be fun. With that statement I turned to him and said..Do you see her, do you see what’s happening to her? Do you want this for yourself? This is not a life I want for you. He turned and looked at Mo and said, did you ever say no to the voice you heard saying everything was fun? She looked him right in the eye and said no why would I?

He promised me he would think about things before he did them. Ask himself if Mo would do whatever it was-but more importantly ask himself what would I or his Auntie Ann do.

That day, changed my son’s life forever. Mo’s life wasn’t a waste, it showed a 14-year-old boy that a little fear is a good thing.  Noah thanks her.